“Well, I’m off,” the young one said.
“Where are you going tonight, Darling?” She said.
“I don’t really know. Some place where I’ll smoke and drink and have sex with anyone who asks nicely or at least tells me I’m the most beautiful thing they’ve seen in the past hour,” the young one said.
“But you’re not twenty-one yet. Do you know a place that will let you drink despite your age?” She said.
“Doesn’t matter. I have a fake ID. Says I’m twenty-three,” the young one said.
“Brilliant. Simply brilliant,” he said. “What if someone asks your sign?”
“Darling, I don’t think that’s really appropriate. ‘What’s you’re sign’ went out with the seventies,” she said.
“Well, I was just trying to prepare her, Love,” he said.
“Well, I really need to get going,” the young one said and left.
“You know, Love, I like her the best out of all the others. The others were just so boring…not quite real like this one…What’s her name again? Love isn’t it?” he said.
“No, I think it’s Darling,” she said.
“Well, whatever her name is, I really like her. She’s great…How is it she got here?” he said.
“Oh you remember, that stork brought her and dropped her sown the chimney,” she said.
“No, that was the first one. Remember? The one with the weird chemically reactive skin. When we first took her out of the chimney she was black but whenever water hit her skin she would start turning white,” he said.
“Oh yes, now I remember, Darling,” she said. “We had to keep dropping her down the chimney to keep her skin from changing too much. Poor dear, to be born with such an affliction…”
“As I recall that one didn’t stay here too long. Whatever happened to that one?” he said.
“She got herself stuck in the middle of the chimney stack somehow and wouldn’t come out…even when we tried to smoke her out. She was so stubborn,” she said.
“And messy, too,” he said.
“Yeah,” she said.
“I know. Maybe she was the one you digested. You know, the one that came out of your stomach,” he said.
“Oooooh. I really didn’t like that one. She was so ugly. No, definitely not this one. Remember? We left that one with all those others with those people dressed in white. I mean they did have all those others. What could one more hurt?” she said.
“Oh yeah. That one was ugly,” he said.
“I remember!” She said, “that one morning…the doorbell rang and woke us up really early. We opened the door and there she was in the basket—“
“Crying. No, I remember that one. The noisy one. Definitely not our…our…ours.” I especially hated that one. She was so noisy. I remember petting her, letting her play with the dogs, everything, but to no avail. She just kept crying and yelling. Oh! How I hated her,” he said.
“Oh, yes. Sorry to bring up such an awful memory, Darling,” she said.
“So how did this one—this wonderful one get here to be our joy and happiness?” he said.
“Hmmm…let me see. Okay. Think back to right before she was here. When was that?” she said.
“Ah…yes. It was ten years ago. I saw her at the county fair looking so lost and sad so I decided to go and talk to her, buy her some cotton candy or something. She was such a dear. So adorable, I just had to have her. I just had to bring her home to meet you. And I did and you loved her, too. And now ten years later we’re still happy. The three of us living happily ever after,” he said.
“That’s us. You, me, and…and…Alice?” she said.
“You really think it’s Alice?” he said.
“I’m not sure. Remind me to ask her the next time we see her,” she said.
“Of course, Love,” he said.
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